the things i think about at the dentist

we went to the dentist today, G.O. and I. that's a lie. she didn't come at all. obviously she doesn't even know what the dentist is. but i told her i was going. she looked at me- well, she sort of looked at me. sometimes i call her name and she looks, but not in the right direction. maybe it's just her eyes that confuse me. anyway, i'm sure she's still playing with the blinds, trying to get outside.

so i went to the dentist to have some cavities filled. apparently i have more cavities than i thought. so i have to go back TWO MORE times. i was very anxious. the lady who did the numbing said "wow, i think you didn't breathe that whole time." it's true, i didn't. i used to practice holding my breath when i would drive over the Tacoma Narrows Bridge. I can get all the way across without breathing. Anyway, i got a little teary when she was done. it didn't hurt terribly, but i still didn't like it. So i listened to my iPod while i was getting a couple fillings. Feist "How My Heart Behaves". very mellow song.

The cold heart will burst
If mistrusted first
And a calm heart will break
When given a shake

What is a calm heart?....i just got to thinking about this while a man was drilling into my teeth. I was thinking of a sleeping heart...one that hasn't been awakened. but i don't think my heart is sleeping. so what is my heart? valentine's day is coming up soon. i don't have a valentine. so i don't have an "in love" heart. it's a weird question. i also started thinking about what would happen in an emergency. like what would the dentist do if something happened. what if they suddenly had to give me real anesthesia for my fillings (yeah right). who would i even call to come pick me up. i guess i could have taken a taxi- although, the last taxi driver i had was on cocaine. i know this because he had one long pinky finger nail- and that's what people who do cocaine have......i'm scared of taxis now.

anyway, the dentist said that i was a good patient. he probably says that to everyone- especially the cry babies. if G.O. went to the dentist, she would have to get laughing gas. wouldn't it funny if her eyes became uncrossed. anyway. my face and tongue are still numb. you can't tell unless i start talking. boy, do i sound ridiculous or drunk.

i'm at el diablo. i see the same people here all the time. maybe in georgie oranges' blog i will start including observations about people. it's a new feature. the new and improved georgie oranges show.

the man who normally rides his motorcycle drove his truck today. he got new cowboy boots. and bought white bread from the metropolitan market. he asked for plastic bags. you know, he drinks the same thing every time. tea with milk. he sits on the patio, even when it's cold outside. i've never spoken to him before, but i want to. only because i know he's reserved and doesn't talk to people. this makes me want him to talk to me. i think he's late 40s or early 50s.

that's all i have to say about that.